I
HAVE
TO
STOP
ONLINE
SHOPPING!

Argh, stupid exam stress is getting to me!
And another $46 (in a day) has flown out of my pocket to 1 belt, 1 satin jumpsuit, 1 collared bf top and 1 pair of shorts.
haha, but good value for money I must say. LOL.
Someone just kill me, to think I could have spouted that from my mouth during the exams period.

I hope I don't become a bankrupt anytime soon. Need to earn me some dough man. haha!
Another 3 more weeks, I hope my bank account balance can remain positive. :D

Warning: CAUTION. Back off if you don't wanna hear whining. heh. that's what this page is for.

Time and time again, I made it through despite the odds stacked up against me. Now I really wonder, how was it possible? Was it really just my lucky streak all this while? Of course most of you would encourage me by saying, how can it be that it's merely pure luck? After a year in NTU, I've come this close to realizing that perhaps, I've been putting on a smokescreen.
No one in NBS has ever come close to failing Mid-terms - not to mention actually failing it, and I think I just made history.
I CANNOT FOCUS, WHY.
If some people are better at other things, I need to find out what I'm good at by the end of 3 years.

Tell me grades aren't everything, it's a lie but at least I can find a new direction. Maybe I should start thinking about being a successful entrepreneur, hehe.
I'll have to find a way to make it big, not having to rely on my shitty grades to land a high paying job. =D

hey guys, i missed out on a precious vday. damn.
and i didn't meet my girls again. )):

a piece of (good?) news, i maybe returning to blog cos my mum found the camera. haha. pictures = interesting blog, yes!
butbutbut, thinking of all the time blog time wasted, the depletion of scarce resources such as time, i fear that i won't have time to do other stuff. hais. ):

happy cny guys.

it's the first day/morning of the new year and i won the very first mj game (in fact, the only game i won the whole night.) hope it's a good sign. =)
apart from that, i cried in front of my relatives, including grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and it was damn effing embarrassing. i dunno what's gotten into me. i can't really explain why i did, except for that the build up of stress, bottled up feelings and pessimism just flowed out of me. every bad thing that has happened ever since i've entered into ntu just went through my mind and that was all i could think about, not the good memories. i started convincing myself mentally that only bad luck followed me through my stay in hall and for the past semester. every single thing i did, didn't turn out the way i wanted it to.
for instance, studying so hard last sem got me nowhere and i dont want to lose that motivation and drive but i can't seem to give myself a reason why i should persist. no use comparing i know, but when someone tells you - oh ya, i dont go for lectures, im the ultimate slacker but (oh-i-dont-know-why look) my GPA is a 4.4 last sem versus (me, for instance) a person who stays up late to understand some concepts, attends lectures, takes notes, sacrifice sleep but then still screw up the exams and end up with no accomplishment. 
of course there are other examples i shan't reveal la.
i feel damn lousy.

what really broke me down was a series of mj games, losses non-stop since after dinner till midnight. not a single win, it's not this that got me down , it's not even the fact that i've been losing mj for 3 nights consecutively in hall as 'the biggest loser'. it's the fact that this ties in with my fate, my luck. it's down and nothing i do can change it., no matter how much effort i put in sometimes. things DONT ever work out.
i think i'm never gonna get attached, period. :\
maybe you guys can say it's just me being too hard on myself - why bother so much? can't cry over spilt milk. yes i know, everyone thinks that it isn't that bad. how can ones luck play such a major role? for me, i feel it does and i'm never gonna be cut out for gambling or risky investments because of my ill-fate. yeah, what bullshit is that. i'm also in the midst of convincing myself there's no such crap but till now, i'm still proven otherwise..

P.S. I've lost the whole feel of playing mj, when i just started out mj every game was a challenge to me, a puzzle that is possible to solve. i anticipate the drawing of each tile for it brings me a step closer to unravelling the mysteries of the puzzle. i miss the adrenaline rush of seeing the required tile and shouting the word hu, i hardly get the chance to now.

Someone tell me that my taste in fashion doesn't suck that much. haha.

What kinda clothing appeals to the masses, what's the budget like, when can me and partner meet up, when to do photoshoot and where, who's free to do photoshoot for us, how to improve the websites. Mind boggling.

We need answers!

Kinda miss blogging, but I have friends who do such a great job blogging I've decided to become a blogder instead of a blogster. You go girls! hahaha. =x

Just wanna make a shoutout here, because my fav girls have been updating their blogs so often - I FEEL BAD.. for not telling the world what a wonderful time I'm having. Life's a blast when spending time with them. I guess this is what many people look for in a friendship, it's not just about going for lectures together just for the sake of companionship, eating meals without a common topic, laughing when you don't really mean it. It's about sharing your silly heartfelt comments knowing that they won't find you ridiculous and be willing to hear you out, or speaking your mind without having to watch what you say.

Bonds like such have become rare and difficult to establish, but I'm glad I have you guys!
Even if we drift apart one day, I'll look back, smile to myself silly and cherish the memories we once shared. =)




This is totally random but I feel like exploring Holland V.

P.S. Partner! I'm serious about the comment i made on your LJ! Wahahaha. Bf hunting time. *cough cough. =D